I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste