Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
