So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
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Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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