im drinking this country out of the recession.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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