guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
