Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need a burrito and a hug.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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