Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
