I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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