We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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