those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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