That's when you crack a 10am beer
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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