she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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