don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
