so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
