Ambien. No doubt about it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
