dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
