never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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