my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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