dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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