I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
