So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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