when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize