soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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