what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
