dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
