Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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