He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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