I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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