Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Green mimosas i think yes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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