I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
