I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
