Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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