You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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