we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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