No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
