The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
