At least make sure they are 18
Why
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
