her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
