Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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