I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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