i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
