I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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