I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
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See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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