i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
