Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize