Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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