If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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