I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
