It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize