he thought i was a dude.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
