hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
