eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
