I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
