I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
