Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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