SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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