kristin has been a bad kristin
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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