i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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