Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
