So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
