And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
