i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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