so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
