Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
