one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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