Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
