i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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