It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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