Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
