Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
