You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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